Designed for Divine Destinations

When our kids are young we have hopes and dreams for their future.. we want them to grow up to be strong and independent. We want them to be confident and self assured. Those are natural desires that parents have for their kids.

When they are old enough to understand we discipline their behaviors when they act up, we tell them to have confidence, we tell them to believe in themselves, we tell them to be good with money, we tell them to be kind, we tell them to be strong. Every parent has a desire for their child to have a better life than they do…. are you starting to see where I am going with this?

We can tell our children lots of things but what they do is…what we DO. We don’t want them to make the same mistakes we do but sometimes we don’t change what we do, we only tell THEM to change.  For example, I have a friend who dates guys who don’t treat her very nicely, she does all the giving and dates takers. She is teaching her daughter to be a victim yet her desire for her daughter is to have healthy relationships with men. She is telling her daughter one thing and is in-congruent by doing the complete opposite.  My husband wants our kid to keep their rooms clean yet he’s got piles of stuff all around the house and doesn’t keep his part of the bedroom clean.

One of the things I learned from family counseling is the same thing people learn in dog training classes… in dog training classes, it’s not the dogs that are getting the training but the dog owners. In family counseling it’s not the kids who are getting the counseling but the parents.

Strong leadership starts at home. If you desire to work on your week areas, look at your children. They are your mirror… whatever they need to work on, is probably what you need to work on. To be a leader, you cannot ask those you are leading to do something you are not willing to do yourself. Some of the greatest generals in history are the ones who were on the front lines with the troops and not sending directions from an armchair.

If you feel your children need a change, then be that change first. They will follow your lead naturally. If you think that your children don’t know what your finances are like… think again, they can detect all that information from you. Children know when their parents are worried, they know your weakness and live them as well.

If you want your children to change then be the change you want to see in your children. Be their leader.

Charlotte Salafia

www.designedfordivinedestinations.com

“Where it’s not just about the destination, but the journey to get there.”

This entry was posted on Saturday, September 5th, 2009 at 10:29 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.