We all know someone who seems to have all the luck! They win all the door prizes, they get all the free stuff, they get to meet all these cool people. They just seem to have the sun shining over them all the time. Who do you know that’s like that?

I can think of a guy I knew from work. I’ll call him Bob. Bob and I both worked for a charitable organization. I also went to college with his wife. This guy was always getting free tickets to cool events, he was always invited to places where he got to hang out with some local or national celebrities. Bob was the guy people were talking about when they said “That guy is SO lucky!” Even his wife was heard saying it frequently.

Was it luck or was it something else?

I used to think Bob was lucky. Then I started hearing that same thing myself. I had to take a look back to those days when I thought Bob was lucky and realize that Bob wasn’t lucky at all!

Now that I think about it I realize that Bob was intentional about his position. He worked in the marketing department. He made friends and connections with the right people to get a position in marketing. He was very outgoing and loved what he did, he had one of those sparkling personalities. He wasn’t lucky at all, he had the intention to get exactly what he got, he knew that people in the marketing department got to meet all the celebrities and he knew that the people in the marketing department would get free tickets to awesome local events.

I figured this out because when people started telling me that I was lucky I got to meet a celebrity or hear someone speak or get invited to do business with awesome people I realized, “hey, I positioned myself for this!”. The light bulb went on. I figured out what I wanted and started doing the things that would get me there. It didn’t suddenly happen, I started making friends with people doing the same thing I wanted to do. I looked for deals on good seminars. I introduced myself to people and followed up. I just talked to them like regular people.

On the rare occasion some people might be lucky … where they meet someone by happenstance (or did they) or they win the lottery but again, I don’t find that to be luck. Most people who win the lottery are back where they started or worse off in 5 years.

Are you starting to change your mind about luck? Would you attribute what you call luck to intention and actions instead now?

Larry Platt is a genius! He wrote  a song that only has 3 basic lines yet it speaks volumes. This simple song with these 3 lines put a complete picture in every one’s head in America.

How did he do that?“Pants On The Ground” consists of these 3 lines: Pants on the ground, gold tooth in yo mouth, hat turned sideways.(Lookin like a fool with yo pants on the ground) see it here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xj-IaaKGViM

He used 3 lines to describe a kid we have all seen (by kid I mean type of kid). We have all seen these kids at the mall or at Wendy’s when you stop for a burger or driving by your local high school. This kid has his/her baseball hat turned to the side and droopy big pants with their boxer shorts showing… ya know…this kid who you just wanna go up to and pull his pants up and tighten the belt. (really, why do they even bother with the belt). …or if you are my husband, you want to staple the pants up.

He took 3 lines and put a picture in your head yet it has more layers. It speaks out about the gangster world. He is describing the prison life.. gangster guy and the kids who emulate this type of criminal. He is speaking out against the culture who is wanting to emulate the criminal world because they think it’s cool.

You see, Larry Platt is part of the Civil Rights movement (he marched with Dr. King) and this criminal culture is counter to the Civil Rights movement.

The other day I was having coffee with a friend and I saw a blond lady talking to another lady. I figured out that the blond lady was trying to sell something. This blond lady talked for most of the conversation. She was telling her all about this product and telling  this other lady what that lady wanted instead of asking her what she wanted. The blond didn’t ask her any questions about what she wanted. The blond talked as the other lady glazed over.

I can’t imagine this blond lady gets many sales, she does all the talking. What if this lady could find 3 sentences to describe what she is selling? What if she could simplify it enough for a picture for the other person to get it in an instant? Wouldn’t she be doing less talking and more listening?

What are your 3 lines? What is the picture you are creating for your potential client? How do you talk about your stuff? Are you throwing your picture out there and then listening to the response.. answering questions about the picture?

Or… are you standing there looking like a fool with your pants on the ground?

Charlotte Salafia

www.DesignedForDivineDestinations.com

“Where it’s not just about the destination, but the journey to get there.”

Once upon a time…..there was a mom who had two little children.  One was five and the other six months old.

Loneliness and just having that feeling inside of her that there was ’something more’ she decided to run a business that had just literally fallen into her lap.

She bought a ’starter kit’ at a home party show cause it was way cheaper to do that than to ‘outright buy’ all the wonderful things she had fallen in love with.  Candles, crystal and solid brass items…quality pieces that she couldn’t just ‘buy now’ on her family budget.

Once she gleefully opened up her kit of “goodies” she actually sat down and started reading the ‘manual’ that came with it. Mmmm…to think that she could actually make a dollar or two spurred her ‘creative genius’.

Her skeptical husband said, “How are you going to do that? And who would be your customers? This product is too expensive!”
She knew though in her heart that ’something had led her’ to this particular product.

Having invited over for dinner one of her most skeptical friends, who also had a great taste for expensive things, she said to her husband “Look, if Mrs. Skeptical decides to buy what I have, and wants to host a party for me…then I will know that this is, indeed, the business for me!  Not only that, but she will decide this tonite within the first 15 min’s of coming into our house!”

Well, skeptical husband didn’t even wait 15 min’s….Mrs. Skeptical came into the house…saw the mom’s new pieces and within five min’s said “Oh my goodness, this is beautiful! Are you selling this? I used to sell MaryKay and I will host a party for you!”

Born in that moment in the mom’s heart was confirmation that she had indeed chosen a great product, and if she could instantly get Mrs. Skeptical on her side…success would be hers…and it WAS SO!

I guess I don’t need to tell you that I was that mom! I made a decision to start a business & had three key ingredients that made me start, and also three “motivators to my success”. 

Just how successful was I? Let’s try to the tune of $4,200/week average, won National Leadership awards, earned Top Ranking Consultant too many times to count!  I must just add here that I accomplished this in a tiny little town with less than 10,000 people!

Here are the Top three reasons most moms/mompreneurs decide to start in a business!

1) There are just plain lonely and in desperate need for some Adult/Female conversation!  Let’s face it….women on average talk 40% more than men, so if you are planning on your DH (darling hubby) to provide that Convo that you need everyday just to stay sane…uh it ain’t gonna happen!
2) Need for the Extra income.  Whether you have come from the corporate job and have now decided to be a SAHM (stay at home mom) or like our young family the need for that little bit extra is a top motivator for moms!
3) Knowing that your life is missing just that “Something”…that you were meant to do!  After all, every mom at some point wonders if this is all her life is cracked up to be: changing diapers, nursing, breakfast lunch dinner, bath times and puke times!  It doesn’t mean you don’t love these things…maybe minus the puke, but you start to seriously question what your “Better good” is!

Let me continue my story just a little bit more!

At my shows, which I absolutely Loved doing BTW, I had hundreds (yes hundreds) of women in other businesses keep asking me two questions: 1) How do you keep getting so many bookings? (I averaged around 10-15/mth) and 2) How are you getting such high sales? (again I AVERAGED around $750…which mean some were the minimum $250 and some were over $1500!)

At that point in my business these were two questions I honestly couldn’t answer!  I guess I didn’t have a ’set formula’ then for success!  I loved what I was doing, I loved sharing what I was doing and I definitely loved to make the money I was making!

After I ‘retired’ from that business, God has a great sense of humor so I developed ‘allergies’ to alot of the fragrances,  I tried a few other business’s sucked in by the money aspect.  Did I do well in these other business’s? Sadly, no!

I hopped from business to business, trying to find the ‘right one’ for me again!  I tried everything from scrapbooking (mom of six here) to vitamins (health is good right?) to even an on-line self development course (which I found after having been told I had a hrt condition). 

Now, don’t get me wrong, I really did love all of these businesses and I’m 100% certain of their merits and value that I could add to peoples lives….but one thing was missing….my heart!  That little voice in my gut saying “This is what you are meant to do!”

I started some real ’soul searching’.  I don’t believe that something happens in our lives for no reason!  So I sat down and for four months really worked out what my passion is!

Here it is: “My passion is to help other moms/mompreneurs learn the three steps I did to Be happy, Love what you do & Make money doing it!”

Here are the three steps that I realized years after many ladies were asking me how I got more bookings and higher sales:

1) I knew that something in my life was missing and allowed something new to open up to me!
2) Once I fell in love with a certain product (or passion) I was not deterred by what other people told me. I was focused and used the simple techniques that I was told by my mentors.
3) I knew in my heart that this was for me, and I believed that it was going to work for me.

Bio: Jody is a WAHM, owner of www.DesignedforDivineDestinations.com, mom of six of a blended family, an accomplished ToastMaster & Speaker and has a passion to work with mompreneurs!

There have been many times in my business where I have felt “Stumped” and “Stagnant” & it’s at those times that I take a close look at what is holding me back!

There are so many ‘options’ out there today for business’s and ways to ‘grow your business’, ‘make money online’ etc… that many people get themselves into a state of “Overwhelment” and then the funny thing that happens is this…”Nothing” gets done/accomplished.

One of my favourite history stories is about Hernando Cortez, who crushed the Aztec Empire.  He made their level of committment ‘essential’ by burning his armies boats, so they had ‘no choice’ but to move ahead.  To move towards their goal with no ‘other options’.

This is definitely a story that I think about and ponder when I’m in that ’stagnant’ stage.  I give myself permission to ‘Look at where I am at’ and ‘who I am being’.  I know that my level of committment is being hindered by the boats(or our lame exuses) that I am hanging on to!

Once I have clearly identified the boats (exuses) I give myself permission to burn them down & give myself no other option than to “move forward”.

I highly encourage you right now to think of where you are in your business & if you are happy with your level of success/income/business development…are you 100% happy with it?  If not, then you need to identify what your boats/exuses are, write them down, then have a good old ‘burning session’.

“The key to change…is to let go of Fear!” Roseanne Cash

Start right now to get rid of too many options, and move yourself forward ‘one option at a time’.

Jody Maley

owner of www.DesignedforDivineDestinations.com

“Where it’s not just about the Destination, it’s the Journey to get There!”

This is a true story and I hope it has never happened to you! Enjoy the read & I’d love your responses!

Some people on Twitter and Facebook have been making all sorts of of comments as to why Ethics are Important in a Business?

A few years ago when I was crazily stoked doing alot of Home Parties in the candle business, I found I was getting a tonne of packages sent to my home by FedEx.

The company I was with was all about ‘customer service’ and at that time (this was probably over ten years ago) when you hosted a party with alot of different companies delivery could well be over 8 weeks! Since I was in a very remote part of BC, Canada, our area easily added on a few more weeks.

My company stood apart and instead of having products being shipped through the post office, they decided to use Federal Express and they ‘ate up’ the additional costs to make sure people were receiving their products in less than three weeks.  This was something very good that I utilized in my selling features.

Since I was a leader I received many things for nothing and had pieces shipped almost on a weekly basis.  I also let some hostesses use my address if they were far away and not within Federal Expresses delivery. In this way I probably received two to three parcels, or bundles every week.

Let’s just say that the delivery people definitely knew who I was, and got my parcels to me in a very quickly and timely manner!

One day, when no one was home and it was pretty warm out, I had a nice cool shower, dried off and remembered I had a stack of clean clothes in the laundry room.  So, I just padded through the house in um…nothing but what the good lord gave us.

At that particular moment, my trusty FedEx dude was delivering a big pack of bundles on my back step.  Unfortunately for me, this of course was the fully glass door to my laundry room. Oops!

He was embarrassed, needless to say I was embarrassed, and I pretty much hid in my room for the better part of the day thinking “My professional life is ruined!”

In spite of this really embarrassing blunder, and trust me I’ve had many many more, I knew I had two choices:

1) I could let this embarassment hinder me in my business (I was already trying to think of how I could divert boxes to a different address….perhaps in a totally different city??) or
2) I could Face my embarrassment, laugh and learn from it, and keep on Keeping ON!

Good thing for me I chose Option number two because I would’ve missed some of the best money making years of my business if I didn’t. (Averaging about $4,200/week!)

Having a good sense of humor enabled me to ‘move forward’ instead of panic, fear and embarassment hold me back.

Now I’m sure that you have had some little ‘obstacle’ or ‘embarrassment’ in your business which has held you captive too.

Perhaps, it’s even held you back from stepping forward, facing your FEAR and I’m hear to tell you one clearly important thing:

Not Facing that Fear or Obstacle IS holding you back from having the Best years of your business financially!

I also knew that ethically I owed it to my customers, hostesses and consultants to stand up and Be the Leader, no matter what I was feeling inside.

Some of the other ways I feel that you can be ethical in your business are these:

1) Always do what you say you are going to! Don’t make promises you don’t intend to keep.
2) Don’t let fear or embarrassment hinder you, learn from it, grow from it and teach others how to overcome that same fear.
3) Provide the best customer service you can.  My partner Charlotte wrote a great article on  the service recession which I agree is in a worse state right now than the ‘economic recession’.

 4) Keep your ‘focus’ on the why you are doing what you are doing! Is your intention to just sell a bunch of products to make a few quick dollars? or is your intention to build ‘relationship sales’ with your guests, hostesses and consultants? You need to decide that right now.
5) Keep on learning! Without learning how to be better, both personally and professionally, your business will sink taking you down in a spiral with it!

There are many other reasons I’m sure as to “Why are Ethics Important In a Business” but I just want you to think about where you are right now.

Are you happy with the results you are getting? Either in your business or your personal life?

My story today has made you laugh, I’m pretty sure, as well as made you think where your focus is!

What would be some benefits of working together with Designed for Divine Destinations:

• Learning new tips and ideas to help move your business forward, one great new idea can easily put $300 or $400 dollars back into your pockets!
• You can save yourself hundreds of dollars in childcare by turning your hobby into a full time business!
• Learn how to “Brand Yourself” no matter what business you are in! (this is Free BTW when you sign up for our Ezine, coolio!)
• How to Massively grow your Hostess list, so that you aren’t always bugging Friends and Neighbors!
• Learn how “Intended Focus” a 15min/day technique I have used  that will Allow you to Work LESS While Making More Money

One thing I myself have learned from my story above is that I always grab a towel now when I jog through my house!

As for the FedEx dude, he started wearing a camera around his neck when he came to make my deliveries!

Jody Maley
Owner & Speaker of DesignedforDivineDestinations.com

“Where its not just about the Destination, it’s the Journey to get There!”

I found out that my body was toxic. My liver was hanging on to something that was toxic to me and causing me issues. What is it?

Estrogen. Old estrogens are harmful to men and women. It’s amazing what causes it. Find out what it is in this article I wrote for EmpowHer.com.

“What I found out at the last seminar I attended on hormone health, is that my liver was holding on to a lot of old estrogens.”

Read about what I did for it.

http://www.empowher.com/news/herarticle/2009/07/12/estrogen-detox

Charlotte Salafia

www.designedfordivinedestinations.com

There are a lot of articles on child development. and there are some great articles out there on the subject. Lots of books and magazines and online sources do a great job at talking about raising kids. Jody wrote a great article on parenting styles that addresses integrity.

We learn a lot about parenting from our parents, we learn what to do and some of what not to do from them. Our parents taught us a lot and gave us what they knew. There are lots of family counselors that help us with the things we do not know from our own childhood experience. That can be helpful for some but what I found even more helpful was learning about myself.

With personal development I have learned more about myself and what got me to this point in life. I was raised in a military family and was encouraged my whole life to be independent. My parents worked on empowering me but there were things that disabled me. One example  is that when I was a kid and we went anywhere, my Mom always told me not to ask for things. Personal development helped me discover that not only can I ask for things, but should ask for things. I figured out that being “polite” doesn’t help me get sales. Then I thought about the fact that other kids come to my house and ask for things and I’m OK with that. So now I tell my kids it’s fine to ask but don’t ask for too much and always thank the hostess or host.

I have had to learn from my childhood that I felt a certain way about things but I can’t project that onto my kids. That is disabling for them. It keeps me from offering opportunities that they might enjoy. One cool, cloudy April Sunday, my son wanted to sell lemonade. I said yes and thought “no one is going to buy lemonade today”, I was so wrong, he made $11.  I let them try new things and let them decide for themselves how they feel about it after they try it. I do set necessary parameters but don’t manage the whole thing.

Many parents (especially women) want their house to look a certain way, we believe it’s a reflection on how clean we are. We think our house has to be spotless or clutter free. We clean it ourselves so it can meet this standard we think it should have even though we didn’t make most of the mess. We sometimes  figure it’s easier to clean, do laundry, etc. rather than get the rest of the family to contribute. It has to be an exact way (I have to confess, that’s the one I’m working on) or it’s not right. Now we can develop systems that work for us but they are able to use some creative thinking to resolve some problems like a system for their room or laundry.

We are not empowering our kids if we are doing everything for them. My oldest brother was married to a woman who believed that if her kids were working hard in school and getting good grades that they shouldn’t have chores. She did everything for them. How were these kids going to learn to do anything if she did it all for them? That is enabling a, child not empowering them. Those kids are going to expect someone to take care of those things even after they are adults. Even if your house isn’t perfect, kids should do chores. They contribute to the mess, they should contribute to clean up.

I have a relative who moved out of the house and he didn’t know how to do laundry, he was using fabric softener… his clothes were soft but not as much clean. His mom had done his laundry, cooked for him, cleaned up after him all his life and he got out into the world and couldn’t do anything for himself. That put him at a deficit.

Control is another thing that I found, through personal development, that I had to work with. Although I gave my kids chores to do, I was wanting them to do it perfectly and thoroughly I had to give that up. They won’t ever feel like they are doing it right if I constantly nit pick the way they do the chore. It does have to meet a standard but I need to be able to have a kid standard. I can’t eat off dirty dishes but I can ease up on how they fold their clothes. Part of the control issue was that I thought it was a bad reflection of me if something wasn’t up to my standard.If they go out in wrinkly clothes it needs to be their issue I shouldn’t manage my kids’ lives on how it makes me look but rather, how they want to appear. If they don’t care if their clothes are wrinkly then I need to let it go, and I have. One day when they are teens, they will figure out that their clothes are wrinkly and will work on folding or hanging their clothes so that they appear fresh.

Lots of articles on child development say “pick your battles” and I would say, determine what is important to you but more deeply, why it’s important to you. The main thing in parenting is to do an up close honest look at yourself and ask yourself some important questions. Look at your own childhood and find out how your parents empowered you and how they enabled or disabled you. What is important to you, really important; Not the surface “people will judge me” things but the standards you need to set in order to raise empowered kids. To find what’s really important to you as a parent about raising your kids, ask yourself some “how” and “what” questions. “Why” questions will only evoke emotion, “how” and “what” questions are for true exploration.

A kid isn’t going to be empowered because they have unwrinkled clothes, a kid is going to be empowered by self discovery and parents who encourage them to find a way to resolve issues. Kids are empowered by parents who help them discover their talents and skills and who foster problem solving skills. I am grateful for parents who encouraged me to solve my own problems. I will take it to the next level to encourage my kids to be productive and contributors.

I can’t control my kids every minute of the day. I can’t make them eat right, or be nice to other people or make good decisions about friends. What I can do, is teach them how to make wise decisions. I can’t watch over them everywhere and tell them how to live. My efforts are much better spent having frank and honest conversations with them about life. I can give them ideas on good thought processes and I can arm them with the ability to make good decisions on how they want to treat people, how to choose good friends, what to wear and even make wise decisions about drugs and sex.

Ask yourself, “Am I empowering my child? Or am I enabling my child?”

Our first ‘family’ trip is what set the precedence for our whole house of rules.  So it’s very interesting to be writing an Article on Parenting Styles.

I still remember it like it had happened yesterday.

We had to travel quite a distance, about 7 hours one way and we had decided to break the trip up a little. We drove the whole way one day, & then we promised all the children that their good behavior would be ‘rewarded’ to a trip to the water park on the way home.

Kids being kids though, they tested our patience with being loud in the car, and both sets of siblings quarrelling.

My new spouse Christian had declared a ‘quiet zone’ & so for a few hours the trip was quiet and uneventful.

Now my youngest was only 5 yrs old and used to ‘getting his own way’.  He kept asking me ‘to do this for him’ and ‘mom, can you tie my shoes?’.  I still remember Christian saying, “Ok, CJ you are big enough to do those things for yourself and if you ask one more time for your mom to do something for you, we will NOT go to the water park!”

About 15 min’s later at McDonald’s “Mom, can you cut my pancakes???”

Oops!   That was it, Christian then said “Ok, no water park!”

Being 5 he didn’t quite understand what was going on, and I don’t think it hit home until we were DRIVING past the water park.  He started crying, and the older kids were telling him to “Be quiet or we’ll never get to do another thing in our lives!”

To be quite honest, even I thought he was going to at the last moment pull in to the water park.

It set a very good example for the rest of our kids growing up as they knew when Christian said something he meant it & follow through is very important.

It also made the kids work more together as a Team to get something they wanted! Because if one child acted up, they all received nothing.

Since then we have had two more children together & it always amuses me that the four older children will tell the younger two how important it is to ‘listen when mom and dad ask you to do something!’

This was definitely a lesson that I’m glad that we all learned early in our relationship together & what I learned as a parent is the importance of “when you say something as a parent, Follow Through is the most important thing!”

Sometimes as a parent we tend to give ‘ultimatums’ but then lack the integrity to back up what we say!

I can now say from experience that this was one of the best lessons we have given to our older children, and they also know that when they want “honest” feed-back from us now that they are young adults, we are
the parents that will provide that for them!

Jody Maley

Owner of www.DesignedforDivineDestinations.com
“Where its not just about the Destination, it’s the Journey to get There!”
www.twitter.com/jodymal

The other day I was driving past a local neighborhood park and I saw a mom with 3 little ones all decked out in collegiate alumni outfits. I like to imagine what scenarios might go with what I see when I’m out. I was prompted by a common scenario…I was thinking about how this couple probably met on the campus of this University or at a party and started dating. In college you have big dreams and all these ideas about the world. At the end you listen to a graduation speech (I had the pleasure of hearing Obama speak at ASU this year- will write about that later) in this speech they tell you how you are the future of the country and industry.

This woman had probably imagined herself in a career after all her studies and hard work. Maybe she wanted to be a business executive or a teacher, perhaps a counselor or artist. Whatever it was, I’m sure it was on hold because she was being full time mom.

So many women who start families end up feeling pulled in 2 directions. As little girls we heard the message in the 70s (yeah the 70s) that women can do what men do. We can have the same careers BUT the thing that wasn’t openly addressed was HOW. The logistics are difficult. Women are biologically programmed as the nesters up to a certain point in life. We are pulled toward taking care of a family, we are programmed to take care of the physical, emotional and spiritual needs of our family.

I have a lot of friends and talk to a lot of women. So many women who have a career feel guilty about not being there for their kids and so many women who raise their kids feel they are missing part of their life. Who is right? Both. It’s so difficult with whichever path you take.  A mom can have a career and not feel guilty. So, what career is right for me and how do I do it?

Here’s how a mom can have a career:

When the children are born there has to be a decision, stay at work and do day care. Work part time or stay home. A nice balance may be to work part time. That way there is the best of both worlds, income and more importantly connection to the rest of the world, and then there’s time with your kids. Working full time is trickier. Having someone you trust to take care of your children is essential. Look for flexibility can help as well. Be sure to set aside special time for your kids in your off time will make them feel special. This doesn’t mean you need to spoil them each weekend with trips to the zoo or other such outings. What kids want is time with you. If you opt to stay home until your kids are at a point where you can go back to work then stay committed to it.

This last point takes me back to this mom at the park. She can still have a career. Right now she can raise her kids and be there for their early formative years. She can also network with some other moms. There are tons of groups of stay at home parents who get together. When I was a kid, so many moms stayed at home, they had a good network right in their neighborhood. That’s so different now with so many moms working. We have to work a little more to get this network.

The key in all these scenarios is to be intentional. The full time mom must be intentional about how to divide her time and what her committment level is to her work. She has to be intentional about planning her time and having a solution to having family time. The part time mom has done this with the schedule she has. She gets the best of both worlds and the responsibility of both worlds but she has to be intentional with where her mind is, don’t go to work with kids on the mind and don’t bring work home. The stay at home mom has to be intentional in that eventually she will go back. She must create a plan for that or it won’t happen.

The mom with intentions to go back to work is a tough place but definitely do-able. She has to have a plan of action. It’s easy to assume the mommy identity alone. Moms are busy people and have a critical role at home. It’s easy to feel that the home can’t run without you so how does a mom avoid getting sucked into that? Definitely take care of the family as needed BUT be sure to take the time to take care of yourself. If you are in the habit of taking at least one day a week for yourself (guys get 2 days off their job every week) and don’t feel guilty for it. If you are intentional about taking time for yourself you won’t get sucked into the MOM identity alone. Going out with friends, taking golf lessons, ballroom dance, volunteer time at a place you love, craft time …whatever it is. Do it. Enjoy it, don’t feel guilty. Doing these things will help you retain an identitiy outside that mom role. It’s great being a mom but only being mom will leave you very empty when your kids don’t need you as much later on.

Now that my oldest is almost in high school and more responsible and babysits, I can let her take over for a bit while I go out and take care of some business or network or meet a friend for tea. I need that time or I wouldn’t function well at home. I am also grateful for personal development, it has done  a world of good for me.

Lots of moms choose to stay home and work a home business. That is tricky because kids dont’ recognize it as work when you don’t go to an office. The kids need to know when your work hours are and committ to them. Having a home businness affords many opportunities to women all around.

We at Designed for Divine Destinations offer coaching to women who have chosen to work a business at home in the home party  field. Women who have parties to demonstrate their product need coaching just like any other work. There is a need for both personal development and technical coaching on party set up, setting hostess expectations, booking parties and follow through. We would love to assist you with booking more parties, building a team and earning more money with your party business. Jody and I are both work from home moms and know what these challenges are, we offer solutions and coaching. If you are asking “what career is right for me?” and  would like to do a home business, we can help you find a reputable company that is right for you.

A mom can have a career and be a great mom when she is intentional and maps out a plan.

Charlotte Salafia

www.designedfordivinedestinations.com

I am sure that some readers immediately know the frustration I have. I’m not sure what goes on with some hairdressers but it certainly is difficult to find a stable hairdresser.

I started going to my hairdresser (we’ll call her Cindy) about 6 years ago, shortly after I moved to a new city. The salon was right next to my sons daycare, she was personable and did a good job with cut and color.  I went to her for a couple of years and she consistently did a good job.

THEN I moved further away from her. I went back to her a few times but was sure I could find a hairdresser closer because they are everywhere right? I mean, there have to be good ones around right? I had that thought cycling through my thoughts and then one day, I was at my mailbox and there was another lady there who had great hair and I complimented her hair and guess what! She was a hairdresser-perfect! She had to work close by right? SO I decided to give her a shot. She did a great job with the color and a reasonable job with the cut (I had one of those inverted bobs-until everyone else started wearing them).  The next time she did a good job with both. Then the next time, her partner was with her at the salon had her unruly kids therewith her:

Stop right there for a minute! OK when I select a hairdresser in a nice salon, I expect to go there and relax. I like a nice environment with just hairdresser noises like hair dryers and blow dryers. I like a low stress, no child noise place. It’s one place that moms get to go and relax. That SHOULD be part of the experience.

She later apologized and said that was a one off. Then, the next time I went to (oh wait let me make up a name for her- Linda) Linda she got dye on the white shirt and didn’t tell me. It was very obvious and I was annoyed that she didn’t tell me so I texted her and asked how I could get it off-no apology (I wanted her to get that I was annoyed). Then when I wanted another haircut she told me she had a family issue and then NEVER called me back. I was annoyed when she didn’t call yet a couple of weeks later sent an e-mail saying she was moving her salon.

SO, I called Cindy. She was at a new salon that was a little closer to me than ther other salon and so I went to see her.

Seeing the pattern here?-moving hairdresser!

I went to see her at that salon a few times, great job with color and cut. Then she moved to the mall, great! The mall is a lot closer. She does a great job but I’m starting to notice that she’s always talking about her drama. In this 4 years with her I have heard all about her dating, getting married, getting divorced, new boyfriend, break up:

Again, this is a place where you want to go and it’s all about you right? Am I alone in this thought? I want small talk with my hairdresser, chit chat, where are you going on vacation and how are your kids? I don’t want a life story. Isn’t my visit with her supposed to be about me? I don’t want to sound selfish but when I get out and do something for myself, I want it to be about me, M-E!

SO, my birthday is coming up and I call her at the mall and, ops she no longer works at the salon. I text her. No answer for a couple of days. I panic!  (wow this is a longer article than I thought it would be) I am calling friends to see who they go to and I am knocking on another neighbors door who is a hairdresser (really, you’d think I would learn about neighbors), no replies!! What am I going to do??  It’s not just my birthday, I have an event to go to for a few days. I want to look good. OMG!! URGENT! I don’t want to go to just anyone!! Then she texts… ahhh, guess what, Cindy is at another new salon!

She does a great job, I was thrilled about my hair, I forgave her for being temporarily MIA! She worked her schedule to get me in to have it done in time. Ahhhh. Relief.

Although my hair looked great, I was getting weary of tracking down my hairdresser and having to find a new salon each time I get my hair cut and OH this time, she moved out from her boyfriend and I get to hear all about that too.

A couple of weeks ago I need it done again. I text her, she can get me in but will text me the next day and tell me what she has available. No text. I text her later that day, she finally texts me back. We get a date set. Whew! Guess what, another new salon!!! This is the 4th salon since November.

Seriously with the salon hopping! I’m so tired of it!

UGH, I find this new salon. It’s in a sketchy part of town… in an old house. Not like a classic old house, like…just an old house. …right next to the old liquor store (the drive thru kind).  She went from a really nice salon with great ambeince to a ghetto-ish salon. OK I don’t mind that it’s a house but this place wasn’t just a step down, it was a whole staircase.

OH I forgot to mention that each time she moved salons (no wait that was the 5th salon-there was another after the holidays.) I got the whole drama story on why she moved salons. Seriously, I don’t care! I don’t want to hear about the cat fights, I don’t want to hear about owners or rent or any of that. I just want my hair to look beautiful. Is that too much to ask??

The lighting in this place was horrbile! It was not at all like salon lighting. The color seemed ok but the roots looked odd, I figured it was just the lighting. I got home, it wasn’t. I waited a couple of days and it still bothered me. It wasn’t as dark and my roots were too light. SO I text her. “my roots are significantly lighter than the rest of my hair”, Cindy’s text back “can you come in Tues, I’ll fix it?” SO I have to go back to the ghetto salon and she thinks that she didn’t leave it in long enough and I think she didn’t use the right color but she’s the pro…

AND she’s also working at a Cost Cutter type salon as well ..What tha?

When I got home after I went BACK to the salon (ugh, I have kids at home and business to take care of…  I don’t have time for this!) I noticed that my hair was better but that my roots were still a bit light. SO I think I was right and that it’s the color that was wrong.

This is when I decided- I am divorcing my Hairdresser!!

Seriously, being with these hairdressers is like going back to a bad relationship with a guy that doesn’t work out. It’s like that guy that is consistent for a while when you first meet him then he’s got some drama or he disappears for a while or he doesn’t respect your time together yet ya keep going back. Ya break up for  a while then get back together.

What is it, why can’t we just divorce these drama hairdressers? Why do we follow them from salon to salon. Getting my hair done is supposed to be a treat to myself yet I’m realizing that it’s more stressful than it is productive. Why stay in this relationship? I can’t believe I didn’t divorce her sooner.

I am going to do it the smart way, I will start interviewing hairdressers now. I am going to ask all my friends if they like their hairdresser, if she is close, consistent, no drama, doesn’t move, and charges reasonable prices (don’t get me started on hairdressers who charge an incredible amount because they are exclusive- I know there is a difference between cost cutter hair and salon hair but over 70 bucks is a bit much -I liked the exclusive Salon I went to once but not enough to pay that much.). That way, I’m not freaking out when it comes time to have it done again.

I think we all have/had a relationship we need to break off. We hold on to these people for reasons that may not exist. I can’t believe I didn’t deal with this sooner. I kept telling myself things were good since she moved, and since she moved and since she moved. This time I know, they are not better, they are not going to get better. I am done with the relationship that is causing me stress. I don’t need it. There are so many more hairdressers that can do what I need and I will find one.

I am divorcing my hairdresser.  Is there someone you should divorce?

Charlotte Salafia

www.DesignedforDivineDestinations.com

“Where its not just about the Destination, it’s the Journey to get There!”