My girlfriend had two children from a previous marriage (one boy, one girl) & had told us to feel free to bring our own children if we came.

This was a nice change for us since we have six children, and it always stresses out at least one child to not be invited to a wedding.
Although I can certainly see the point of the Bride & Groom that when they invite us they don’t necessarily want to have six more children running around.

Basically though in the last few years we have only had our youngest two (8 & 6) at home on a regular basis.

Our youngest girl is definitely our ‘girlie girl’ though and was quite excited at the prospect of ‘dressing up’ & seeing all the grown-ups in nice clothes.

Our boy on the other hand, didn’t really care (he’s the 6 yr old) as long as we were swimming in a pool somewhere!

What I really enjoyed about the ceremony was the fact that they made her children a big part of it!

Both her boy, and her daughter stood up for their mom.  As well, they were part of the ceremony.

There was a huge empty vase with four smaller vases surrounding it in four different colors of sand (colors in the wedding btw) black, chocolate, cream & sea green!

What they did was each new family member had a different color sand that they took turns pouring into the larger vase, symbolizing their coming together as a family.  It was beautiful and once it was all completed they have a beautiful vase filled with the different colors that they can keep as a memento from their beautiful wedding.

I also thought that this was a great way to make the kids feel that they were a part of the wedding and ceremony; after all, those of us who have blended families know that you aren’t just marrying the mother/father, you are also marrying into that other person’s household!

I think that with many families blending together (we have 6 kids…2 his, 2 mine & 2 together) that is equally important that the children are made to feel part of the family immediately.

Kudos to my friends for including, well actually making her children just as much ‘stars’ as they were! It was beautiful & inspiring to be part of their special day!

After the big event & a beautiful dinner all the kids had a blast dancing the night away…well, until at least 9:30pm.  Our 6 yr old son I have to admit was the cheesiest dancer, but had everyone in stitches (he has a new dance about every 2 weeks!).  He was in prime form for showing off a blend of John Travolta from Grease but not moving his feet at all!

Several of the guests kept saying, “Hey Greyson, put your hand out like this, and move your feet like this!”  But he just kept on doing what made him happy, ignoring those of us who would tell him otherwise!  (Peer pressure won’t be an issue when he is a teen-ager!)

I guess it is true, you should always Dance like no one is watching!  I think it’s way more fun!

Go Grease Lightning! Nah nah nah nah!

Jody Maley
www.designedfordivinedestinations.com
“Where it’s not just about the Destination, it’s the Journey to get there!”

When I got divorced the people I was thinking of the most were my two children and how this would affect them.

Like alot of parents who get divorced, I stayed in a very unhealthy relationship for the kids.

I know, what was I thinking???

My youngest was only five at the time and he fared pretty well, my older daughter on the other hand had a pretty rough go of it! She was almost nine and stayed ‘mad and angry at mom until she was around fourteen’.

To say the least our time spent together was filled with yelling (on her part) and tears and biting my tongue on my end.

Through it all I always knew that I had a choice to make, and I decided that I wasn’t going to be that angry divorced parent who constantly put down the other; after all, our reasons for divorcing were between the two of us and not the fault of our children.

My new spouse (we are now a blended family, two his two mine and two together) gave me some very wise advice….just give her space, she will come back to love you…you are her mother and time does heal things. 

My daughter is now a beautiful young lady of eighteen and even though I would love to be closer to her than we are, she knows I love and care for her.  She said to me recently that even though she was young and angry at me, she sees how happy I am now and is glad that I made the right choice for myself and left her father.

Sometimes we stay in ‘toxic relationships’ because we are worried how it will affect our children, or what other people would say, or sometimes we stay out of fear…whatever ‘our’ reasons I’m here to tell you that deciding what is ‘best for you’ is always the best in the long run.

I love my life and family now, they know how much I love them and I’m always there…and best of all “I am happy, complete and confident in myself!”  Being who I am today is truly the best gift I can give to my kids!

There is a saying, “A happy mom is the hub of a happy home!”, so don’t rob your family of happiness!

Here are a few tips that I’ve used:

1) Let your children know every time you see them that you love them and keep the communication lines open.
2) Yes, children or parents do get emotional in this time….remember to be the Best you and refrain from negativity.
3) Plan ‘fun dates’ with your kids! (every time our kids are all together…the first thing they do is haul out the game boards because we take the time to PLAY with them)
4) Don’t try to ‘buy your children’s love’ every kid sees through that!
All in all, the best advice is simply Time!  And learn to forgive yourself!

Give your kids a hug today,
Jody in Beautiful BC

www.DesignedforDivineDestinations.com

“Where it’s not just about the Destination, it’s the Journey to get There”